Phil’s Story – “I Love My Wife, But I Needed Some Help Too”
A Carer’s story about finding support, staying independent and feeling less alone.
Life as a Carer
My name is Phil*, and I care for my wife, who has problems with her mobility. I’ve been registered blind since 2020, so everyday life can be challenging for both of us.
My wife struggles with things many people take for granted, like getting out of bed, using the toilet and moving safely around our home. I do my best to help her, but because of my own sight loss, it’s not always easy.
We don’t have much family nearby, so most of the caring falls to me. We only have our State Pensions to live on, and money can be tight. I was becoming increasingly worried about how we would manage, especially if my wife had a fall or needed more help.
I love my wife and want to look after her, but I was starting to feel overwhelmed.
Finding the Right Support
When someone from the Adult Carers Wellbeing Service came to visit us at home, they took the time to listen and understand what life was really like for us. It was a relief to speak to someone who understood that I needed support too.
They helped us apply for Attendance Allowance, which meant we could get some extra financial support. They also arranged for someone to look at how we could make our home safer. We had grab rails and other safety improvements put in place, which made moving around the house easier for my wife.
Getting Help with Everyday Caring
One of the biggest changes was getting some help with my wife’s personal care. Knowing that someone else could help with some of her needs took some of the pressure off me and gave me a little time for myself.
I’ve never been particularly comfortable with new technology, and I prefer using my phone to keep in touch with people. The person supporting us respected that and didn’t push me into anything I wasn’t happy with.
They also encouraged me to try a local Carers Group. At first, I wasn’t sure, but I’m glad I gave it a go. Meeting other people who understand what it’s like to care for someone has made me feel less alone.
Life Is More Manageable Now
Things aren’t always easy, but life feels more manageable now.
My wife is getting the help she needs, our home feels safer, and I know there are people I can turn to when things get difficult.
Before, I felt like I had to manage everything on my own. Now I realise that asking for help doesn’t mean I’m not doing enough for my wife. It means we’re both getting the support we deserve.
“I still want to do everything I can for my wife, but now I know I don’t have to do it all on my own.”
* (Phil’s name and image have been changed to protect his anonymity).